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Insomnia-A dark nursery rhyme by ~ladynyk:iconladynyk:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Old Poetry Structure > Dark




Insomnia:

twinkle twinkle
little pain
I see you’ve come
to play again
lodged here in my soul so tight
turning brightness into night
twinkle twinkle
tearing ache
please let me sleep
to never wake….

…now I lay me down to sleep
my life in tatters at my feet..
if I should Wake before I die
I pray these tattered wings can fly..

twinkle twinkle
empathic strain
I never want to feel again
trapped here in this world so cold
where self is wrong
and Us is gold.
twinkle twinkle
falling tear..
how i wonder why i'm here..
©2002-2009 ~ladynyk
:iconladynyk:

Author's Comments


more journeys to the world of angst..

Edit 12/23/02:

Last two lines were changed.. I agreed with ~painfetish' feedback.

Awarded a Daily Deviation on Jan 13, 2003


Thanks...

Daily Deviation

Given 2003-01-13

[link]
Too often have I and so many I've encountered pondered the very reasons for being, to the point of frustration, especially in such an unpredictable and confusing world. For me, ladynyk's Insomnia-A dark nursery rhyme captures that sentiment flawlessly, and for three days I'll track'n'pester every deviant who doesn't read it. That is all. Picked and written by `pachunka (Selected by ^faithwalker) (Featured by `faithwalker)

Comments


:iconrebelchic:
`rebelchic Dec 22, 2002, 6:12:44 PM
"…now I lay me down to sleep
my life in tatters at my feet..
if I should Wake before I die
I pray these tattered wings can fly.."

Painful words dragging strips of truthful knives across the heart. Raw emotions screaming.

Heart

--
:shakefist:
:iconpisschrist:
!pisschrist Dec 22, 2002, 6:17:48 PM
Heather picked the best part =].
The entire thing was clever however.
Neat idea, and a well-displayed version of it.
:iconjustaphase:
~justaphase Dec 22, 2002, 6:31:44 PM
ahh... nyk, you do it to me every time. that hope to close your eyes on the stars and feel nothing. that one word you express so eloquently, and pluck the heart strings of my soul.

--
All I know is that I know nothing.
:iconpainfetish:
~painfetish Dec 22, 2002, 6:35:13 PM
i love this, except for the last line, it just dosnt sound right.
other than that, i have to agree with the above two comments :) (Smile)

--
make me sad. make me mad. make me feel alright?
:icontraerene:
~traerene Dec 22, 2002, 6:40:57 PM
that's brilliant!! what a deliciously dark idea! the part ~rebelchic quoted caught my eye too, and i loved the way the words were twisted around!! nice little surprise in there! this also was a great part:

"twinkle twinkle
little pain
I see you’ve come
to play again"

it has this lilting little melody with such sharp, biting words...astounding! Heart wonderful way to take words and paint images!!!

--


the difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones... is how you use them!

FEATURED WORDS - TODAY'S FRONT PAGE NEWS
:icondrippingblood:
~drippingblood Dec 23, 2002, 8:35:08 AM
I like the remake of it, i love how hard it is.
:icondrippingblood:
~drippingblood Dec 23, 2002, 8:36:36 AM
dark********

rofl @ hard. heh
:iconfathernye:
~fathernye Dec 23, 2002, 11:34:31 AM
I concur: rofl


--
The essence of living is to continually dissolve into the space and time in which we happen to be. Therefore, we should face reality instead of fooling ourselves in daydreams.

Tsai Chih

Homepage: The Lan
:iconbetween-balance:
~between-balance Dec 23, 2002, 11:37:39 AM
twinkle twinkle
tearing ache
please let me sleep
to never wake….


oh

that made me laugh

dunno why


--
The sheep need that sort of comfort
:icon-tank:
~-tank Dec 23, 2002, 11:08:12 PM
very dark and painful words...i really like this alot...partly because i love rhyme...but mostly becuase it descibes perfectly how i feel...amazing work
-tank

-=don't fear to imagine=-

--
'To be positive at all times is to ignore all that is important, sacred or valuable. To be negative at all times is to be threatened by ridiculousness and instant discredibility.'
-Kurt Kobain
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